On Dreams and Goals

Back from Momocon, and I’ve had an epiphany.

This epiphany was brought on by A) my counselor pointing out all the work and financial security it will take to get a city apartment, especially in so short a time, B) the fact that I’ve finally cracked the learning block and I can now mostly (if primitively) read kana, and C) the fact that I just went to Momocon and the final panel I went to was a very informative one on Japanese culture.

For about as long as I can remember, my dream has been to visit Japan. It’s to the point where I don’t even remember what started it. Probably because of my weeby preteen years. Rumor has it my aunt promised it over my cradle. Either way, it’s something I’ve wanted my entire life.

So… instead of making my year-end goal ‘get a city apartment’, maybe it should be ‘visit Japan’.

Or rather, since end of the year would be winter and Japan seems to have very defined seasons, ‘achieve enough funds and language proficiency to make visiting Japan possible’, and then pick a time to go next year as a reward.

It’s still a change of pace, after all, which is what I need. This might actually be better for me than just moving to the city. Part of the reason I’m doing THAT is so I can finally meet people, and in the city I’d basically just be surrounded by more of the same. And plus actually accomplishing this would do wonders for me. While moving to the city is still something I feel needs to happen… visiting Japan is something I want desperately. And have wanted for a long time.

And now that I can actually read, I don’t have an excuse to put it off anymore.
Obviously self studies will still be difficult once I start this job next week (or whenever I start this job). But again, this is something I really want to do. Something that will help me.

I’m not giving up on my city goal. I’m just… pushing it back to make room for a new one. I still fully intend on moving out. Just not now. I said I wanted adventure in the great wide somewhere, so why play it safe?

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