Trying something new

It’s cold. It’s a cold, rainy day. And because it’s a cold, rainy day, I woke up late for my counselor’s appointment that I forgot I had. I’ve actually been waking up at fairly decent times, considering that I now have nothing to wake up for. But I took a celebratory shot with my family last night to celebrate me quitting my awful, awful job. And then I stayed up watching Youtube videos that I definitely could’ve watched today. And then it was a cold, rainy day. So I slept in.

Not only did I wake up late for the counselor’s appointment that I forgot I had, I also was out of Lyft money to get a ride there and back. After all, because I now have no job, I no longer have a source of income. Now I check, I actually got my final paycheck (a measly $80) yesterday morning, but because I was panicking about being late for my appointment I completely forgot about that. So I ended up texting Dad in a panic to ask for money. He provided $30.

The interesting thing about that is that both Lyft rides only cost $9 each. I’d expected them to cost $11 or more, which is why I asked for so much money. It’s alright, though- both rides made up for the low prices by taking a stupidly long time to get to me. These waits were not made better by the fact that today is a cold, rainy day. As my WTForecast app puts it, “looks like all of the clouds are trying to ratfuck your day.” I have no idea what that means, but yes. They certainly were.

When I got to the counselor, we talked for a while. Well obviously we talked for a while, that’s what I come here to do. We talked about several subjects: me quitting my job, and my plans to move to the city, and <REDACTED>, and how hard I tend to be on myself. She’s the one who re-motivated me to start writing daily again. Even if I don’t have anything to write about. Especially if I don’t have anything to write about.

She also suggested that I try reaching out to my friends again. The older ones. I am making slight efforts for the very distant ones, mostly by way of wishing them Happy Birthday on Facebook. Maybe I’ll reach out to S again. The last thing we did was go on a date with her and her boyfriend. (I still maintain that she, as a fellow bisexual, should have known better than to try making me her unicorn, but I digress.) I don’t know what I’d say though. I’m never good at reaching out to people, especially after long periods of time. And it never really feels like she’s that interested in talking to me.

I wrote a very long… thing while I was sitting in the iHop, waiting for my second Lyft to make its way over. I’ll type it up and maybe post it too. Also I don’t think that’s how I’m supposed to type iHop; it’s an acronym, not an Apple product. IHOP. There we are.

I’m now sitting in my room, typing this. I haven’t changed out of my clothes, because it’s such a cold, rainy day. I did take off my socks, but now I regret that, because I have to tuck my feet under my legs in order to keep them warm. I’m also wearing a blanket, the pretty leopard-print glacier colored blanket that S bought me maybe… two, three Christmases ago. Maybe I’ll also put on my thick Little Mermaid socks, the ones that D bought me… last Christmas.

Aah. Toasty.

I should’ve set a timer, because now I have no idea how long I’ve been writing. I can’t even remember what time I got home. That’s normal for me though, I guess. I’ve never had the best grasp on time. I’ve never had the best grasp on anything.

Either way, I’ve written a lot today- plenty to make up for tomorrow, when I probably won’t have anything to say- so I’ll go ahead and sign off here.

I’m guessing a bit of explanation is in order.

Like the title says, I’m trying something new. I’m going to (try to) write something random every day, and if I like it well enough, I’ll post it here. We’ll see how well this works, won’t we..?


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