You know what’s not fun? Being broke.
I don’t regret quitting my job. People treated me as subhuman garbage, management was incompetent at best, my paycheck kept shrinking… It was a sinking ship that I’m glad I jumped.
But I do regret not having a paycheck anymore. Sure, I still live with my parents, but financially they’re really more like my landlords- complete with requiring rent. I pay for my own groceries, shopping trips, fast food, Lyft rides… And now that I’m out of a job, my dad will slowly start having to loan me money for those again.
I don’t like that. He’s already struggling enough without also having to support me. I don’t want to go back to being a leech again. I have been applying to jobs left and right, but so far I’ve only heard back from two, and they both turned out to be failures. (not on my part, mind you)
I did get a good chunk of money recently as my first tax refund. I could easily use it to tide me over until whenever an employer decides to give me a chance, but… I don’t know. I just had my heart set on using that money to go on vacation. Walking the rustic streets of Savannah, warming my skin on the Tybee Island beaches… Even without my actual Vitamin D deficiency, I feel like it’s something that I seriously need.
At this rate, I might end up having to dip into my savings. Maybe that’ll be what I use to tide me over. It’s not like I was really saving for anything in particular anyway…
Hmm, this is a depressing post. What else can I talk about? What things do I divert myself with?
MomoCon is coming soon. I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish my new cosplay in time; not because I’m too busy (obviously, ha) but because altering the jacket is a little trickier than I thought. But I like to have at least one new cosplay each year… Maybe I can come up with something new quickly.
Positive, positive I do like getting to photograph all the creative cosplays that other people come up with though. And I have that portable charger this year, so I won’t run out of battery in the middle of a photoshoot like I did last year… That was sad. Oh, and Mystic Messenger came out this year, so hopefully I’ll run into some cosplayers from that game!
…although the last two years I’ve gone to MomoCon, I’ve run into guys who decided for me that they’re worth my time. And they were really impolite about it too. Not flatout rude, like pushing me around or catcalling or whatever. But inconsiderate things like cornering me and trying to chat me up when I’m clearly busy. The issue is that I’m a ridiculously nice person, so if you’re not outright rude to me, I can’t make myself do anything potentially rude back. So I end up just being really passive and eventually running away.
Okay that turned negative, what else… SHINee, the only KPop band that I actively listen to(because I don’t have enough mental energy for more than one what is wrong with you people that stan more than 5) They were in North America a month or so ago for a watered down version of their concert. While I obviously couldn’t go, I listened to every stream, so it kinda felt like I was there in spirit. Apparently they’re going to have another concert soon, which seems like overkill to me, but I guess as long as they’re okay. I think Onew is getting drafted next year, so their management might be hurrying to get as much of them together as they can.
Jonghyun, love of my life, came out with a new album recently. It’s a lot of sensual, acoustic-y songs, which is one of my favorite genres- and one of his best genres, in my opinion. I feel connected to Jonghyun, at least in mindset. As far as I can tell, we’re both sensitive, deepthinking introverts who are having trouble being happy. And are also a little weird. Maybe if he ends up doing okay, I’ll do okay too. After all, we’re both still young, aren’t we? We have time.
That’s a more hopeful note than this started on, so I’ll end here.